When you disappear,
Only then
You will know
Who truly cares
Who does not.

Some just pretended that they care.
Some will try to take an advantage and spread rumors about you.
Some will truly care

But if you really know me.
You shouldn't have thought that I was going to do some stupid things.
I wouldn't do that.
If you know me I'm not like that.

Ok take off your mask, don't pretend like you care.

At the end of the day,
It is true.
You can't expect people
To understand you
To forgive you
To understand you.

If you're broken
Fix it
If you're having a problem
Face it.
Yourself.

I've always posted things as if I'm
Talking to you right.
But let me talk to myself this time

I'm just a loner
A loser
Who appears bold and strong
But weak and fragile inside.
I always cry when I'm going through a hard time.
But I hide it. To appear strong.
But I'm not.
I really am not

I thought when I smile,
The fear, the sadness will go away.
But they won't.

I'm just a little child inside.
Who cannot choose what is best for her own self.

I'm just a human who can't live alone.
Who needs someone to talk to.
Who needs someone I wanna talk to.
Who needs someone who can simply hug me and tell me it's fine. I'm doing the right thing.

What's the point of being successful but alone and unhappy?

I know someone else is having it worse.
But that's how weak I am for not being able to go through this small hardship.

I'm sorry if I dissapoint anyone with my childish rant, with my immature thoughts.

But yes, I'm still a child.
I'm still too young for all this bullshit.

At this rate, I think I might really going to run away. :/

That one time

That you just wanna 

distant yourself 

from everyone.

From the world.

As their loud voices

will never stop spreading rumors.

Spreading the untrue.

You wanna feel your heart talking

You wanna follow your instinct.

You just wanna give your mind some peace.

That one fine time. 

There's a devil inside of you.

There's a devil inside of me too.

And just because it lives inside of me.

That doesn't mean I am

a devil. 

That's the same thing

That you should hold on too

I won't ask you to stay strong. But I will ask you to hang in there.

Have you ever felt scared?

Scared of yourself

Your unexpected temper

Your selfish self

Scared of your past

The thought that it might

Haunt you again and again

Scared of your future

As you don't know

What to do about it

"What should you do about it?"

The question that you keep asking yourself

When the actual question that you need to answer is,

"What can you do about it?"

You wanna run away right?

Far away.

Cause no matter how hard you've tried.

You know there's a loser in you.

But a loser does not give up.

That's why you're a loser.

The one who simply did not win.

If you have given up,

You're not a loser.

But a dead person.

Hang in there,

SERIAMALINA

2015

Twenty years old.
Who looks like 12.
And wanted to be 5.

Me.

Only God knows

How can I ever

trust anyone again?

Moga tabah ku hadapi 

tikaman dari belakang.

Lidah setajam pisau.

 

Can you wait to be a mom?

I can't.

I won't talk about the process.

Wtv.

But yeah I really can't wait to be a mom.

Why?

Because I can't wait to be someone's everything.

Surely for everyone.

Mom is everything for us.

I know sometimes, we'll have 

that kind of love-hate relationship.

But she will always be our everything.

Through ups and downs.

Through the good and bad times.

Even we already have a family.

Your mom will always be your everything.

Right?

That's why.

I can't wait.

To love and to be loved

as a mom.

And mom,

you will always be

my everything.

 

xx

SERIAMALINA