Maybe

And maybe

is the word

I'll use

When I'm unsure.

Or just pretending

To be cool.

One day,

I'll get my confidence back

And get rid of my ego.

Maybe. 

On fire

You can always

stand tall on the mountain

without stepping

on others

Seems like playing clean

is no longer

the trend.

Maybe

it has never been.

 

One sided

It's either I really like you
or I'm just too lazy to like someone else.

 

Until I'm sure of it.

I will just start 

my first one sided love

to you.

Problems

They say
We create our own problems.
The problems won't be there
Unless you allow them to be

Well, isn't that a problem itself?
Isn't it problematic when someone
creates their own problems?
Isn't it a problem when someone says he needs a help with his problem, but you say stop thinking of it as a problem?

What exactly have you solved?

They still need a cure.
Aren't they?

Here

You're still here.

Isn't that a good reason for you to live?

Second lead

Even in our lives,
We can't help but opting
For the first lead right?

Even when the second lead
Is the one who has always been with us.

We just can't help
But picking the first lead .

Cause the heart wins
Over and over again
It wins

Mask

Don't lie.
We all wear a mask.

To hide our disappointment.
To hide our despair.
To hide our sadness.
To hide our jealousy.
To hide our ego.
To hide our sadness.
To hide our longing.
To hide ourself.

We all need that mask.

Easy

Life would have been much easier
If it's only black and white.

But then, we won't experience
The beauty of colours.

So, do you want it easy
Or beautiful?

I

Your potential
should not be limited to
Only one thing.

Go further, fly higher.
Xx

Can I call you?

Can I call you?
Don't you wanna know how am I doing?

Can I call you?
I wanna know about your life.

Can I call you?
Just because I want to.

In my dreams. Yeah

My Greed

My life right now is good.
I love everything about it.

But I miss the old days too.
I miss those days when I don't have to go to bed feeling lonely.
I miss those days when I can share my tears with someone.

Guess, as a human.
We can't help being greedy and ungrateful aren't we?

Selfish

At the end of the day.
We will all choose to be selfish.

Take care of your own self.
Stop hoping for someone to do it for you.
Grow up.

Black

Someday, when it all goes black.

I might want it all back.

But I know I can't go back to you.

How things turned out to be.

I guess that's how things turned out to be.

Once we were so close.
Now you only will contact me asking things which are not even related to me
Once we contact each other everyday.
Now, instead of asking how am I doing, you're asking what are the latest issues that took place in the world.
Once we tell everything to each other.
But now, it seems like we don't even know each other.

They called it life.
And if this is my life right now,
I guess I still can't move on from the past.

When you disappear,
Only then
You will know
Who truly cares
Who does not.

Some just pretended that they care.
Some will try to take an advantage and spread rumors about you.
Some will truly care

But if you really know me.
You shouldn't have thought that I was going to do some stupid things.
I wouldn't do that.
If you know me I'm not like that.

Ok take off your mask, don't pretend like you care.

At the end of the day,
It is true.
You can't expect people
To understand you
To forgive you
To understand you.

If you're broken
Fix it
If you're having a problem
Face it.
Yourself.

I've always posted things as if I'm
Talking to you right.
But let me talk to myself this time

I'm just a loner
A loser
Who appears bold and strong
But weak and fragile inside.
I always cry when I'm going through a hard time.
But I hide it. To appear strong.
But I'm not.
I really am not

I thought when I smile,
The fear, the sadness will go away.
But they won't.

I'm just a little child inside.
Who cannot choose what is best for her own self.

I'm just a human who can't live alone.
Who needs someone to talk to.
Who needs someone I wanna talk to.
Who needs someone who can simply hug me and tell me it's fine. I'm doing the right thing.

What's the point of being successful but alone and unhappy?

I know someone else is having it worse.
But that's how weak I am for not being able to go through this small hardship.

I'm sorry if I dissapoint anyone with my childish rant, with my immature thoughts.

But yes, I'm still a child.
I'm still too young for all this bullshit.

At this rate, I think I might really going to run away. :/

That one time

That you just wanna 

distant yourself 

from everyone.

From the world.

As their loud voices

will never stop spreading rumors.

Spreading the untrue.

You wanna feel your heart talking

You wanna follow your instinct.

You just wanna give your mind some peace.

That one fine time. 

There's a devil inside of you.

There's a devil inside of me too.

And just because it lives inside of me.

That doesn't mean I am

a devil. 

That's the same thing

That you should hold on too

I won't ask you to stay strong. But I will ask you to hang in there.

Have you ever felt scared?

Scared of yourself

Your unexpected temper

Your selfish self

Scared of your past

The thought that it might

Haunt you again and again

Scared of your future

As you don't know

What to do about it

"What should you do about it?"

The question that you keep asking yourself

When the actual question that you need to answer is,

"What can you do about it?"

You wanna run away right?

Far away.

Cause no matter how hard you've tried.

You know there's a loser in you.

But a loser does not give up.

That's why you're a loser.

The one who simply did not win.

If you have given up,

You're not a loser.

But a dead person.

Hang in there,

SERIAMALINA

2015

Twenty years old.
Who looks like 12.
And wanted to be 5.

Me.